Phew, we made it!
School started this week and while we all felt a little trepidation, it actually worked out really well. The beginning of the week was a small hurrah filled with bestie over, pizza, chiropractor appointment, and meeting teachers/seeing classrooms.
Having a 4th grader and a 7th grader feels oddly weird in the grand scheme of things, I seriously can’t help but think of the boys as they were when they were small. Maybe this is parenthood. But then again, I also felt a huge relief to be alone during the day. This week’s joys are in no particular order.. enjoy!
Waking before dawn
The hardest part is waking up, that’s what Bear tells me as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. I remind myself that I tried to transition us to the earlier wake up time, but it just never clicked. Getting to bed earlier, even by 10 minutes was fruitless and waking them up earlier each day proved equally challenging.
I thought of one friend’s approach— just wake them up on the first day of school and they’ll get be tired enough that night to go to sleep.
But that was never my boys.
The later we stayed up, they wouldn’t sleep in.
In some ways, they are just more committed to their routines than I ever have been. I used to get so frustrated by it, but now it is silly to try to force them to be any other way.
The sun is rising as I drive Bear to school. He doesn’t want his photo taken.
He’s nervous, but not in the same way he was last year when it was a new school. This time, he’s nervous about something he doesn’t have words for— he’s in 4th grade and the dyslexia is still a huge challenge.
What will the year hold for him?
We don’t know, but this time we know who is there to help and who our people are, this makes all the difference in the world.
I drive back to go get A. The sunrise is stunning and there is a level of hope I haven’t felt in a long while.
Beauty in the mundane.
Middle School Walk through
Despite this being his second year at the school, the new construction is finished and there is a lot to take in. I let them sort out where they are going, but I trail behind in observation mode. I’m not directing or leading, which has become my role and I am slowly getting okay with the backseat.
It doesn’t feel like that long ago that I was the one leading the way through hallways and guiding these boys through whatever rests ahead.
I watch as they jockey for who is in charge as A and his bestie check out the new (to them and also, just new new) 7th grade floor. Bear lingers at the side, not involved but not willing to be left behind either.
A turns a corner and I do my best not to quicken my pace or rush to catch up, he knows where he is going.
And yet….
more than once, A turns to make sure I am there and tells me not to be too slow.
I appreciate the effort and make sure to tell him without making a fuss from it.
”They are growing and this is what they are supposed to be doing” repeats in my head and I remind myself to trust this phase. A will be the one who looks back and Bear is the one who wants to keep up!
Select it, Project it, Expect it, Collect it
She sends me a video and of course an article that I had read the day before.
I saw the Blood Orange Soda at tiny grocer and I couldn’t help but get some, to have a few moments during the week practicing my Italian and sipping on Italian soda. I do this in front of my little vision board (which I’m currently in the middle of refining) and hum the little Italian tune I have been listening to all day.
I think of the article which talks about a woman who won a ton of contests including lots of trips and even her home in North Texas. Her method is easy enough: Select it, Project it, Expect it, Collect it.
I’ve watched videos of her speaking about it and she really does make it sound that easy. Her story fascinates me and I dive into the rabbit hole of learning more about her and her time with another fascinating human: Jose Silva who used the idea of radio waves and alpha brain state and hypnosis to help his children with their education. It requires me to stop feeling like I’m stuck in survival mode and that is something I have been desiring for the last several years.
So I act as if.
As if it is all easy.
As if there is no gap.
As if I am just prepping for Italy next summer.
And maybe I am.
Adjust before we adjust
We hit up the chiropractor one last time before the first day of school.
Next time we see her, it will be after A gets out of school and we will be making a mad dash to get there in time. I’ll be curious to see what is different in their little/big bodies, I have the same curiosity for myself.
What shifts for all of us with this energetic shift to routine?
The Second Day of School
It’s not quite normalized yet and I am still taking my exhales, but I wake up and do my morning pages then wake Bear up and get him ready for his day.
I have my coffee, I move real slowly because I will not rush or be rushed and I whisper on the wind to show me little signs that all is going to be ok.
I don’t always see heart shaped rocks, although there was a time that I found them everywhere and collected them in a jar. I’m sure they have all been placed back out where they belong and I no longer actively see them or scoop them up as I once did.
I got to the chiropractor for a solo adjust, I was on my daily call with Jess and we were putting puzzle pieces together as I like to refer to these kinds of calls: we share, discuss, and life just gets a little clearer. That’s when I see them.
Sitting there among the normal rocks, two heart shaped beauties.
I whisper a thank you to the air and I hold them to my heart.
Just the little reminder I needed.
About time
He is going to read one of my favorite books this year and this term!
It was just earlier this year that I re-read “The Outsiders” and the memories of when I first read it, how I fell into James Dean movies and Marilyn movies and how the library was my place to be during that time.
He tells me that this year might be his “cannon” moment.
He’s taking a classic movie classand while he doesn’t want the list, I read it and I can’t wait to discuss “War of the Worlds,” “Jurassic Park,” “Gravity,” and “E.T.”
All movies he hasn’t seen. All little ways he potentially will grow from.
Movies are something that I love to watch with them and trying to expand out of children’s movies to more young adult-ish movies has been a balancing act.
But now he will watch these with his peers and discuss what he likes about them, scenes that impacted him, and the way movie making has changed.
It will be another glimpse into who he is growing into being.
And he’s reading my favorite book.
And he’s almost 13.
Some other things this week:
We jumped onto the “K*pop Demon Hunters” movie bandwagon and yes the songs are catchy, the animation is awesome, and the story is beautiful. I don’t mind watching this one over and over again, but I’ll let you know next week if I still feel the same. This is my favorite song!
With school drop off and pick up’s varying for each child, I have resumed my audiobook time in the car once again and phew, it’s a relief. This week, even with only three days, I listened to “James” by Percival Everett and it is so good. I remember liking the adventures of Huckleberry Finn, mostly because they got to hop on a raft and just leave. This book is 1000x better and really brings Jim to life.
One of the things I realize I need is some easy to make- nutritionally dense- grab and go snacks. I don’t love buying premade meals, although I do see the value in it, so I have been spending some of my “free time” with my cookbooks and flipping through recipes online. I love my copy of Alice Water’s “The Art of Simple Food” and I am getting back into her recipes once again! I’m hoping to try this recipe for overnight oats for more of a slow cook but grab and go snack.
What tiny joys are you finding this week?
What adventures are you look forward to as fall approaches?
I can’t wait to tell you more about this coming week as Bear turns 10(!!!!) tomorrow.
xo, liz
