It was the last week of school, a overcast kind of week, a clearing out of the old and an embracing of the new. A reprioritizing and maybe a little recognition of fads (not in a good way, I think). This week was a whirlwind of tasks to do before break and a flurry of hugs and promises to make playdates or coffee dates. Tis the season for watermelon all day, popsicles for breakfast, and maybe considering/reconsidering how much protein I consume.
Routines/Rituals, reprioritizing care
12k steps,
90 oz of water,
8+ hrs of sleep,
prioritizing my joy- yoga- art.
there’s a question of how much protein to eat.
A conversation: if eating your ideal weight in ounces of protein, is that too much?
Once again, I’m trying to put me first.
Why is it so hard to put my wants first?
Is it motherhood or my upbringing?
I think that maybe, it’s that I’ve never had to “do anything” to care for myself and now that “neglect” and stuck energy has created this layer of protection.
It’s time to feel more free and not settle for anything but the best of the best.
I think that starts with turning off the noise and tuning all the way into myself.
Slow mornings are just around the corner.
I love you, I love you, I love you
Years ago, maybe it was after I had Bear, I felt distant from myself.
I started saying “I love you” anytime I saw my reflection.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I listen to a podcast while in the sauna— it’s nothing I normal listen to, but it’s a poetry teacher I love and one of the top manifesting influencers.
She says “I say I love you to every person I come across. I can send out hate and receive hate in return. Or I can, you know, just love everyone and then I’m in love with life.”
I love you.
I love you.
I love me.
Last day of school
They are so damn excited for this last day, but still no one wants to get up.
Nor do they want their photos taken. I love to raise them to appreciate their autonomy AND there are times I get frustrated about simple things that come easier to some families. Three hour away from being a 4th and 7th grader.
They won’t share the same school until A’s senior year and that is enough time for anything to happen.
In the afternoon, it is quiet.
And I can’t help but think of what it was like when they were little: popsicles and excitement of summer. Maybe we went to the city pool. Maybe we filled up the kiddie pool at home. Time is such an interesting thing, because there are so many little things I appreciate now. And yet…
There is a lot of ease of them being older.
In the quiet, I get to sit in the memories and also enjoy that there are still a lot of summers left.
Space to be missed
I have my cup of coffee. I love that I can show up and there are times that it’s just like a nod then bam, my coffee is being passed my way. That feels so special.
And yet, the season is here that I won’t be there as much.
I tell Jane that I think it will be more of a gap between days I’m there.
Space for them to miss me.
I don’t think I have done that much before… space to miss me.
I joke that I hope they don’t replace me.
I remember, I’m actually irreplaceable (cue Beyonce… sorry).
Snacks and chats
We sit on the sofa (or is it a couch) in the front room. It feels like there is a lot to catch up on and also, like we are just riding the waves until the school year ends. We chat about raising boys and reading Romantasy/questionable MC’s as a copping mechanism. We snack on “Havea” chips (my fav!) and discuss the shifts in the world since we last sat down. It feels like every day we ride the waves of “the manosphere” targeting young boys on YouTube and being in our 40’s to our fluctuating hobbies and summer break.
Being seen and understood is important and a good reminder of you are who you are close with, the phrase “you are the 5 people you spend the most time with” rings in my mind/heart.
After years of filling my time with everyone and constantly needing to spend time with friends/ my people, I have learned to enjoy my own company first and foremost. Which makes spending time, on this couch (is it a sofa?) that much more lovely.
Five Invitations:
Make a list of 10 things you LOVE. And I mean L-O-V-E. People, items of clothing, places… whatever. Place this love list somewhere you can see it daily.
Ok, hear me out. Do you tell yourself “I love you?” Have you tried it? Maybe we can all just start with this and then spread the love from there.
How do you approach self care? Is it easy for you? Does it seem like you are always chasing the need to take better care of yourself? What’s one thing.. just one you can do today? Have you had some water today? Go drink some right now, I’ll wait…
Endings and beginning. Do you like them? Do you do transitions easily? Does it feel sad and exciting? Do you dread it or clutch at everything so that it stays the same?
Do you have places that feel comforting? Maybe it’s just the house of a few friends, but truly, where are the places that you can just be?
When this is published, Summer break will be at Day 1. There will be rest and adventures, travel and friends, my hope is that this summer will be better than all the previous ones… and we just keep getting better.
Happy Saturday, loves!
xo, liz
If this piece sparked something for you, feel free to buy me a coffee xx
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