Sorry this is coming to your inbox so late, it’s been one of those days!
Dear reader, this was the last full week before school starts and while I will miss our lazy days and lack of structure, I am very much looking forward to return of my alone time. As someone who thought they always needed to be around people for most of her life, it was in the deep throes of heartache and true isolation that I found I was actually in really good company with myself. I love a good chunk of alone time to sit and stare out the window or people watch over a cup of coffee at the bookshop. Alas, we are still a few days away from that…
and so this week was a last ditch effort for some feral time and getting ourselves together before the new (school) year begins.
You’ve got mail… literally
It says it’s been delivered and I can’t wait to open it. Knowingly she texts “good morning” and I appreciate the intuitive hit.
We FaceTime as I open the box, pulling out one item at a time. I’m overwhelmed with joy, each piece is a warmth and an acknowledgment of being seen. The mushroom hot cocoa mix she made just for me, the books are ones we’ve discussed but I’ve not ordered, the images are me turned to art (have friends who see you as art!!), and the hat… an homage to a place that feels like home.
The hot chocolate is my favorite, Jess made it especially for me and it mimics that of some hot cocoa I got as a Christmas gift a few years ago and haven’t stopped raving about. Jess’ is better!
Yes, I love receiving packages that are like tiny devotional offerings and I love sending these same kinds of things!
Late night walks
The final sleep over of summer which means it’s the last midweek sleepover. Which means it’s the last really late night filled with 10pm snacks and video games and night walks at 11pm. The boys run ahead and I’m left behind with a Halloween flashlight and the small knowing that this is how it goes… they get bigger and want to venture farther away. That one day they may not look back or run back to try to scare me or check in at all. One day these boys will go forward with their friends, knowing that I’m behind them.
Not everything is a metaphor, but on this night, a testament to summer and the changing ages of the boys, it feels like an omen. One day, I’ll be on my path in the dark and the boys will venture farther than I can see. My always hope is they will look back or circle round and I know that their lives are meant to be lived too.
Curls gone wild
Never underestimate the powerr of a good hair day! We swam the night before and I tossed my hair up in a bun with a silk scrunchie (seriously, I can’t believe I have scrunchies!!!). On our morning walk, I took my hair down and not knowing the extent to which the mess would be on the top of my head, I went about my morning. Catching a glimpse of myself before running out the door, I was surprised by how gorgeous I looked. Ringlet curls around my head, a good nights sleep, and fully hydrated— this is what life is supposed to feel like.
Radiant and energetic, the joy of having a good hair day.
His first real haircut
His first real haircut.
I knew there would be a day when he would want something that was beyond my stylist skills. I can do a run through with clippers or an undercut and a trim, but styled hair do’s are outside of my skill level.
He just didn’t know what he wanted.
We flipped through different cuts and he couldn’t picture himself with any of them.
He settled which I don’t love for him and also, once it was said and done, he looks so much older and younger all at the same time. His baby face and still baby smooth skin. For now, he is trying on this version of himself. And he can decide who he will become. Hair as we talk about a lot is something we can change on a whim. And if we don’t love it, for a little bit we may have to deal with it, but it grows. He’s had the autonomy to have whatever hair style he wanted (and that I could give him). Now he is learning to figure it out what looks good on him on his own.
Middle School Vibes
Back to school prep-work.
We walk his schedule, A days and B days. This year he will have no mad dashing from one part of the school to the next. Truly the only challenge might be to the cafeteria to his classes which are all condensed in one area.
He’s more confident this time, knowing where he is going and the layout of the school. We catch sight of the new courtyard, a rare opportunity for him to be outside during the school day. I stand back and watch as he roams with his bestie and the little in tow, always in awe of his big brother.
There is so much gratitude for how far we have come.
Another bit of proof
She hands me this note. Something so simple and sweet, but also really what I needed to hear. “Your class is the softest landing spot I’ve ever had and I’m so grateful to be in that space with you.” Her words hit me at a time when I really could use them and it reminds me to bring back cards and writing little notes.
I’ve been contemplating a lot about life and teaching and really all the things.
I have been able to be a part of so many people’s lives through yoga and I want to share more of that.
Over the years, I have collected quite a few notes like these and there is part of me who wants to figure out how I make more of these connections, sees that this is the real abundance: touching people’s lives. I guess, I just keep showing up and holding space in the most magnificent ways that I can. From there, only time will tell. And for now, I have another very sweet note from someone enjoys what I do.
In what big or small ways is summer time being embraced?
Is back-to-school lurking in your front window and what shifts will come with that? Oh, fall is around the corner and I can feel it, how about you?
xo, liz
This is just a quick list, but here are some of the songs on repeat over here lately:
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